God Bless Simone Biles. Whether you agree or disagree with her decision to withdraw from some of her events, Poppy is still annoyed that the IOC took away her difficulty points and caused the kerfuffle in the first place. I’m sad that the “everyone gets a trophy” culture actually reached the point that the best athletes in the world can be handicapped simply because… wait for it… they are THE. BEST. ATHLETES. IN. THE. WORLD.
Honestly, Ms. Biles doesn’t need another three or four golds to convince anyone she is the best there ever was. Plus, because Poppy is nothing if not snarky, if I were in Simone’s shoes, I’d also have said, “Fine, I hope all the people who medal are okay with the invisible-but-implied footnote that says, ‘Because Simone dropped out.’”
Philosopher and author Ayn Rand’s said productive achievement is man’s noblest activity. Based on that premise, I think telling people—who have literally worked their entire lifetimes to achieve a goal—that their best is too good is to say that humanity would have been better off without self-interested individuals like Muhammad Ali, Mia Hamm, Joe Montana, Tiger Woods, and Babe Didrickson; to say nothing of so many others like Denzel Washington, Wernher von Braun, or J.K. Rowling.
Would you have paid $99 to pay-per-view to watch Mike Tyson fight with one hand tied behind his back? Or maybe they should have given Ali a few benadryls right before his fights so he would just float like a butterfly and not sting anyone.
Tiger, you’re fun to watch but you have to start at the special tee box 75 yards behind everyone else. I know it’s not fair, but no one else won a tournament this year and their feelings are hurt.
Jackie Joyner, we’re going to give you these flip-flops for the heptathlon this year. We’ll be at the finish line with a bucket of ice for the ACL you’re going to tear in the process. Depending on how well you recover, we will consider giving you shoes next time.
Mr. Brando, we like the choice you made to play with the cat in that scene but we think Don Corleone should maybe tell a knock-knock joke at the end so the other actors don’t look like such amateurs.
Mr. Musk, SpaceX is a great idea but we’re going to put together a panel of 9th graders who are really good at video games. They will also co-own your company to make sure you don’t make too much more money than anyone else by winning sole-source government contracts. We know you’re the only company that can actually get the job done, and I know we want to make it to Mars, but not until everyone can take equal credit for it.
History?… well, President Roosevelt was literally handicapped but he still managed to nearly get us to the finish line of World War II before he died. Then again, the government took his trophy posthumously and decided no one, no matter how good, would be allowed to be President that long ever again.
Sure, you can try to change my mind but it’s a shame we’ve been telling our kids to try hard, achieve, and be sure to believe in themselves for such a long time, only to make them feel bad about succeeding too much. If it’s more fair and compassionate to insist that we all achieve equally, how can the standards ever be raised for any of us to achieve greatness?
Seriously… what if someone had told Robin Williams he wasn’t allowed to be funnier than Pauly Shore?