While the news reports are gruesome and tragic, I am left wondering what the survival rate of airplane stowaways actually is. Just this week I read two stories of three bodies having been found in the wheel wells of commercial airliners. It can’t be that those people represent 100 percent of the stowaways in airplane travel, and there must be plenty of underground success stories to convince people to keep doing it. Where are the reports about people being discovered after the fact and then arrested for not dying in the attempt? And since I can’t even bring five ounces of water to my airplane seat, perhaps there is a dark-web YouTube tutorial about methods to skirt 12 layers of security to get out onto the tarmac in a parka and climb up into the guts of a 747 without being noticed. And, seriously, is it really worth your life to get free transportation to Florida?!
How about some science? Thanks to Malcolm Gladwell’s Revenge of the Tipping Point (recommended reading!) I learned something new today about COVID and, surprisingly, general wellness. There was an important study from the very unglamorous field of aerosol science that was so unglamorous that it never made it to the news alongside the bickering and “I’m smarter than everyone else” talking heads we got used to seeing every night in 2020.
It seems being a germy super spreader has a bit to do with genetics and a bit with hydration. Long story short, everyone’s vocal cords function like Star Trek doors — with little bridges of saliva attached across the sides when the “doors” open and close. Air moves in and out when we speak, taking good and bad particles with it. When our airway is dry, it gets sticky and bad things stay on the gooey bridges long enough to absorb into the bloodstream. When we are hydrated, our airway becomes a watery, slippery car wash, so all the bad things get swept into our stomach acid to be destroyed. I know… still not glamorous.
So, what struck me was how much I would have appreciated that little, and much more helpful nugget of But here’s why… earlier in life. We constantly hear “drink water” to the point that it becomes background noise — much like I also ignore “eat your vegetables.” And while drinking more water is not a cure for anything, some of us might have appreciated the understanding of one simple thing we could do to have a wee bit more control of the uncontrollable. So, take a note, CNN — it’s wintertime and people are inside a lot, sharing air. Maybe give us some credit and make a mention!?
On a lighter note, I decided this year I’m not going to buy anything mushy or gooey for Valentine’s Day. I am going to start my own greeting card line that has nothing to do with “Be mine” and “XXOO.” I’m going more for the “You’re so sexy when you take out the trash,” and “I’m glad we said we’d grow old together, and it’s awesome we’ve made it to ‘Get off my lawn!’ already.”
And while we’re at it, can we talk about the sheer number of awareness days in February? It’s like we all collectively decided the shortest month needed the longest list of causes. We’ve got World Cancer Day (important), National Pizza Day (delicious), and even National Tortilla Chip Day (crunchy, but why?). Are we raising awareness, or just trying to make sure everyone has a reason to buy advertising? At this rate, I would prefer National “Accidentally Reply-All to an Email” Awareness Day, with universal training, so people don’t inadvertently tell me what they really think of me.
And, of course, February is Black History Month — a time to honor the tremendous contributions and achievements of Black Americans throughout history. Surely we can all take the time to celebrate the cultural and historical impact of people like Katherine Johnson, Alvin Ailey, and Wilma Rudolph. Seriously, can’t we simply make a big deal out of the things that truly matter — and maybe leave Pizza Day for the Super Bowl and the snack aisle.
With all that in mind, I guess I am just going to have to set aside more money for a lot more cards. Meanwhile, “Happy National Corn Chip Awareness Day — because nothing says love like nachos.”