Poppy Talks • The Real Issues

Citizens of the world have many disagreements. Paper or plastic. Elephant or Donkey. Sweet or Unsweet. But, the really big problem, as we approach the cooler months… is the thermostat too hot or too cold? I’m just going to say it. Hot is better.

I’m not saying I enjoy the necessity of pot holders to touch my steering wheel in the Texas summer. But, as the weather begins to cool, if you’re quiet enough, you can hear the arguments in every office, master bedroom, and car. Some of us are just hot- or cold-natured and we didn’t choose to be this way so let’s please stop looking at each other like everyone else is just *wrong*. 

People who are Hot think the people who are Cold should just layer up and be quiet about it. Put a space heater under the desk. Get a blanket. But, there’s only so much clothing I can put on before I look like a giant tick and really can’t get my work done. Ever try to type or use a mouse with mittens on? 

Yes, I turn on the seat warmer when it’s 70 degrees out. Actually, I do it when it’s 90 degrees out and the air conditioner is on… it loosens the muscles in my back that are sore from shivering all day in the office. 

I have six king-sized fleece blankets in my house. I can’t sit under a ceiling fan when the air conditioning is blowing. We who are Cold think it is tedious that we have to pack a sweater whenever we go to a movie, restaurant, or office in July because someone else might develop a bead of perspiration over lunch if the air conditioning is above 65°. I want to eat my sandwich, not bury it in permafrost for a future paleontologist.

Sitting on my hands in the staff meeting because my fingernails are blue while the person sitting next to me is fanning herself in the path of an oscillating fan—both of us wondering, How on Earth can she be [the opposite of me]? I’m dying here. 

Some facts; breathing and memory are better when the body is warm. Warm air is relaxing to the lungs, especially when it’s moist; blood pressure decreases so the brain works better.

No one ever closed a road because there was too much sunshine, or cracked a skull on a sidewalk that was too dry. Very few people retire from Texas to North Dakota and heating a house costs less than cooling it.

And I don’t care how hot-natured you are; no one wants to sit on a cold toilet seat. Don’t forget, last winter, Texas was colder than Alaska. 

Neither extreme is comfortable, of course, and that’s exactly the point—pick your misery.

Let’s face it: Even the most hardy among us can live comfortably without accommodations only in an extremely narrow range. Most people only say “beautiful day” somewhere between 65-80 degrees. Down sweaters or linen shirts help, but the comfort window is still small and the longer we spend exposed, the more likely our defenses activate; shivering, sweating…and complaining.

For those of you who insist that 65 degrees is the perfect temperature for sleep, I stipulate that may be true—on average. But that is only for your head, and if you’re a hot/cold person who prefers another number, you’re just as likely to have a bad night’s sleep because your brain is always working to achieve your perfect state. The right number is whatever lowers *your* body temperature a few degrees at night. And of course you have to be able to stick your “thermostat foot” outside the covers to warm/cool the rest of your body appropriately.

I suppose my point is that for whatever reason, thyroid, body mass, metabolism, it’s rare to be in sync with any one or more persons, but somehow, we cold people get more flak for being cold. I suppose it’s easy to think we’re doing it on purpose, right?

​In the plus column for cold, I bet no one ever complains about the smell of the athletes at the Iditarod or in a snow-angel competition. So there, one point for cold. Meanwhile, if anyone needs me this winter, I’ll be drinking cocoa in a hot tub on a beach at the equator.